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| alrite..im gonna explain this once so whoever wants to kno what happened with me and zach here it is..
friday i went to his football game and i saw him..... i hung out with jordan and jordan kept introducing me as his brothers gf.. i met zachs dad.. said hi to his mom and so on.. well game ended they won and zach was on the field wit his mom brother and family and i called jordan cuz i was standin there and he told me to just come over but by the time i got the nerve to zach wasnt there no more. soo i left. yesterday i got my mom to stop by zachs house i forget wat time mayb like 6 or so.. and i went up to the door and his friends were like may i help u and zach came out and i handed him his birthday card. i couldnt bare to look at him.. it hurt so much. i stood there and i was shaking .. well i asked him wats going on and he told me he didnt kno and then i asked him if we're still going out and he goes idk and im like well do u wanna break up with me and he said we talked bout wat wud happen wit him being a senior and stuff.. and then i was like well do u want to break up and i forget wat exactly he said but it wasnt good.. and he told me it took him awhile to decide on this decision and that it isnt easy for him. he also told me that on the first day of school all these girls were talkin to him and since there are like 4,000 kids in his school theres gonna b lots of parties and girls and if he does good in a play in football that girls will swarm him and all this stuff.. and i just stood there with tears runnin down my cheeks and he kept sayin dont, not here..hello ur fuckin breakin up with me u think im not gonna cry i liked him so much and after the whole two months ive known him and the month i was with him and after all that went on u think im not gonna cry? and he told me ill forget about him and ill find someone better and i said i dont think i will forget about him. and i dont want to forget about him.. and he brought up about how they won their first football game and i told him i know i was there.. and he goes i know.. and so i was there a total of about a half hour and he was sayin how he had to get going soo im like okay and i hugged him and just started cryin more.. and told him to get jordan outside and jordan comes out and sees me crying and goes wats wrong? and i just hugged him and said bye jordan and he was like bye amanda.. god im hurting so much right now i kno ppl say it will get better but i dont wanna go thru this everytime someone breaks up with me.. well i am gonna go bc i just started crying again. | | |
| zach broke up with me so fuck this shit im done with it.. :'(
i still love him! | | |
| hmm last nite steph imed me and invited me to go golfing with her and loretta since they were bored and didnt wanna sit on their asses, hmm i was bored too and it sounded like fun bc i hadnt seen steph in a while and yeah. i went. first.. i paid 5 dollars all in quarters i handed the guy the bag..and he goes uhh how much is this im like 5dollars exact..idk if he counted then or not..but loretta was suckin at mini golf, and steph was hmm ok.. but me? idk i blew everyone away , must have been my lucky nite. hah the one hole loretta was like im determined to get the ball over the hump! haha she got it over the hump all rite but not the right hump.. hahah .. we took lots of cute pictures, and loretta taped sum interesting things steph did.. haha. man that place was empty tho.. there was no one there, we were the only ones on the damn course! haha. and loretta made up a new song :o) its hott.. hm after that we went and got ice cream at friendship farms.. that was yummy and me hyper as hell then wen i got home i kept buggin my brother and his friend and yeh so i was too hyper to sit in my room alone , i do that enuff..so i asked my brother if i cud sit in there with them haha.. that was interesting, haha it was cool .. his friend harry is really cool! heh. welllll ugh jena is not comin over until like 5-5:30..aghh kill me now i wanna go up to the high school and chill wit my brother and his friend so im not just sittin at home like i always do but they already went up there and i dont feel like walkin up by myself, nor do i kno if they want me following them round. soo ill jst sit here by my lonesome self.. well yeh im going now.. | | |
| hm school. 1st period gave robert a piece of gum and he threw the wrapper at me.. uh took notes. 2nd period talked to jenna for a lil and took notes..3rd period.. we had the quiz and i brought my grade up to an 85% or sumthin like that bc i got a perfect on the quiz, but he did let us choose a partner for the quiz! so that was awesome. but i did most of it haha. but now we have to memorize another map (a harder one) and yeah its gay we have a quiz tuesday wen we go back to school. aghh kill me now. 4th period .. ew gym i have no friends in my gym class its going to suck.. aghh . 5th period was boring again.. lunch..boring didnt talk to neone just sat there.. 6th period spanish i talked to brittany mohn for a LIL bit.. we took notes.. 7th period.. took notes and watched a gay movie bout sumthin stupid lol. 8th period "took notes" and did a paper, then i walked home.. aghh thank god no school tomorrow. theres a dance tonite at school but im not going. robert just asked me if im going but nope im not.. lol uhh yeah im going to go now.. i guess bye | | |
| i called zach at like 7:10 and of course he didnt answer, so i left a message saying .. "hey i can see you havent returned ne of my calls but if this is ur way of breakin up with me id rather u just tell me so yeah just call me bye." soo yeah hopefully he'll call me but im not seein that happen tonite. god i dont want him to break up with me, i want everything to go back to how it was. but if he is breakin up with me id rather him flat out tell me than me not knowing and shit. because me not knowin is hurtin more than it would if he just told me flat out i think. | | |
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